Gotta Get a Gun

Do you know what a "Gund" is? Here's one on the left. They are adorable, cuddly little stuffed animals. "Gund" is the brand name and their marketing slogan is, "Gotta Get a Gund". Cute.

Every once in a while I look at my neighbor across the street and paraphrase that slogan to myself, "Gotta get a gun". Most of those times have to do with his motorcycle. He is a man about our age, not a kid. But his motorcycle has no muffler!!! So many times while we're sitting on the front porch enjoying nature sounds or just mostly peace and quiet, he will decide to get the bike out and go for a "little" ride. And I do mean "little". He'll rev the bike, rev the bike, rev the bike...then go down the road. We can literally hear him when he makes the turn on Salem Road -- a mile away! Then in a couple of minutes, he's back. He'll rev the bike, rev the bike, rev the bike and then put it away. Just making sure it's still loud enough, I guess. This is an almost every day occurrence. Sometimes more than once a day. Sometimes early in the morning. Sometimes in the afternoon, when the grand kids are napping if they happen to be here. As I sit on my front porch, I level my eyes over the top of my book as he goes slowly -- but loudly -- past the house. And I think to myself, "Gotta get a gun".

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a violent person. I've never shot anything in my life (I'm no Sarah Palin, after all)...but there's a first time for everything.

Then earlier this week, as dusk was setting in, Jerry noticed something across the street. "Mike's got his Christmas lights up", he said. It's not even the middle of November yet! What ever happened to Thanksgiving? He gets earlier every year. And he's one of those fellows who will be out there on Christmas morning taking them all down. I don't get it. But it's a pet peeve of mine when people rush the season like this. It not only takes the joy out of it because you're sick of Christmas by the time it gets here, but it also makes me feel pressured -- like I should have my tree up, all my gifts wrapped, and be sitting here sipping egg nog already! Not only all that...but his decorations are UGLY. The bushes in front of his porch are all completely covered in red lights (the big bulbs). It looks like his bushes are bleeding. More like hemorrhaging. All except for the one on the far left. It is covered in blue lights. My thinking is that there are no more red light bulbs to be had in the county.

Yep....Gotta get a gun. Maybe I'll ask Santa.